happy to be alive today and writing a blog! i am excited about the decision to play here everyday this month!

having lots of wonderful adventures of late and meeting wonderful people and making positive life transforming changes......    it is my intention in the next 30 days to communicate and articulate what it is that i want to say...

i have gone raw!, bought a native american flute from a local master craftsman and am setting my intention to live in a beautiful canyon close to this flute master and my best friend of the last several years...

i would like to live close to the land and grow fruits and vegetables and flow in the abundance of all that is good and healing in life...and only a stones throw from the modern world that i at the moment earn a living from and the place where most of the people i love live...

i am currently detoxing, physically, mentally and spiritually and some detox energy may find its way through these daily blogs so that i can transform and say what i want to say

thanks for the love and patience along the way and the commitment to go through the process with all of us  : )

thank-you k... for the info and encouragement  : )

i begin this second day's blog with an interesting wake-up call.

as it is now 9:21 pm based on pacific standard time where my time clock for zaadz apparently runs from, i have plenty of time within the official start and close of the day to be true to my day 2 post.

it so happens, though, that i am in central time at the moment and so i made it in within the hour for me tonight...

i woke up a little late this morning and decided to put off writing my daily blog until later in the day. in a hotel at the moment...when i got back to my room after a long day i lacked the energy to pull off a blog entry so i curled up in bed and decided to take a little nap so that i would be well rested and energized for this evenings post... and set a mental alarm clock to make sure that i would make it on time before the midnight hour....

as i started the post i indicated an interesting wake up call as my commitment to make my post within the day frame alarm clock had it's roots.

i had a painful love loss dream and found at the most stabbing point of realization, my eyes bolted open at 11pm central, and i understood both an important link to a point of healing and suffering for me and that indeed the point of the moment was indeed my wake up call and internal alarm to honor my commitment to communicate from the head-heart in my daily blog... we are in this one together and i am committed to the group now!

i made it a silent commitment to myself yesterday to read the blogs of the other committed ones that are in the link circle from the tribe of yes... i am trying not to edit and reread -  a little something that i liked and picked up from the group circle that i appreciated and will practice with in this very blog...

so i watch the cursor blink and try tr y ttry to not edit the paragraph in my head before committing to blog articulation... laughing with myself... what an opportunity to expose my self a little bit to myself.

this blogging, raw food journey that i have recently begun stems from my commitment to honor the lunar cycle within myself and sits within some key focus areas that came to me when i sat with the most recent new moon energy and set some intention for this lunar cycle...  the made words from my pen, were energy, healing, and transformation; as these are the words that came when i asked the question under the new moon light...

the answers and the connected path has borne fruit in several insights and the transformation, healing, and energy have taken form...

thank-you to the group-- tribe for whatever it is that i can't find the words yet for..  : )

kate for this opportunity and support

the people at the rawvolution cafe for the good energy vibe...lots of loving happening there...

balance is a word that keeps finding its way into my head-heart;  living, breathing, dancing, juggling self and other... what a raw mix we are and we oscilate between feeling lonely and loved...  and find our way... the blogging is a good practice in the self expression communicating to others and i am learning to find my balance while on the tightrope..  : )

fun for old hats and newbie bloggers to play together  : )

blog blog blog....

moments now or minutes to the official pumpkin hour for the close of this blog but a whole twenty four hours yet for day 3 bloggin

: ) xxoo

back on the west coast with 26 minutes 'till day 4.

big day in dallas and a big plane ride home and a lot of stuff since i have arrived back in the land of the O.C.

pretty interesting week in dallas; i started eating raw food without transition a week and a half ago and got on a plane to dallas with my new raw food magic book called the "Sunfood Diet Success System" by David Wolfe and the sparks flew and i wrote a ton of goals and insights and stars and comets and the like... i arrived on sunday night as an education consultant for a business intelligence software company, staying in a hotel within walking distance to the gig site (9 to 5). i found the local healthfood market with the help of front desk person and bought lots of organic greens and fruits and some extra virgin olive oil and some liquid aminos and avacodos to make it through the week.... i ordered a little refrigerator with my room, borrowed some paper plates, forks and knives and fed my self raw fruits and vegetables for the week while teaching 8 hour a day techie courses....

as it was, to make everything much more interesting and colorful, my body-mind went to the detox universe and i sort of swam through the week with fairly heavy detox symptoms; physical and emotional ranging from a mixture of organic raw high and fevery chills, lack of concentration, energy, fear, anxiety, elation, etc..., etc..., like withdrawals type symptoms and yet had to teach professional classes to professional students. i had some fine and lucid teaching moments that the class connected deeply with and i had some could not get my brain to work moments as well.

on monday night, i tried to find this raw food restaurant somewhere in dallas and ended up stumbling into a halloween costume party at a local establishment 'bar/restaurant' and had myself a hell of good time and met some very interesting wonderful people and drank more very high quality red wine than i had in some time... in an attempt to mitigate some of my intense emotional detoxing experience.

no hangover the next day and i taught a great class!

i took two baths in the evenings, bought candles and incense from the health food store, listened to music from my laptop ipod music setup, practiced my flute, did lots of stretching, reading, goal setting and started a committment to a blog a day!!!

it's all coming together...

today i stumbled on an opportunity to hang out with David Wolfe and a bunch of fun and wonderful people on the Big Island of Hawaii for a raw, yoga, meditation, fun in the surf and sun New Year's Extravaganza week long party and i signed up and am going!!!!

yea mon!!

pumpkin hour in seconds, so i will close for now

thank-you

:] eric

take two;

i read in the last few days that the machine ate somebody's blog. just happened to me and so here i find myself reposting after a failed post moments ago...

perhaps it was the wrong message at the wrong time and the universe did me a favor and did not let it pass the all-knowing filter... i can only guess that this is correct.

well the last post is gone and the filter waits patiently for me to push the post button to decide my night's publishing fate.

sitting on my bed with laptop on lap and the sound of cars and crickets coming through the apparently way too thin glass. i reflect on the day. i had a very good day. i picked my daughter up this morning and took her to the gym with me where we worked out together and had a good conversation about a recent book that she is reading and her confusion about my new and improved food choices.

a friend of mine was offering a juggling workshop in a beautiful little favorite canyon of mine and i had agreed to come be the digital photographing documenter for the event and sold him on my daughters fine photographic eye... we both played, juggled stuff and took photos of individuals and the group and had a nice time. she has a wonderful photographic eye and captured some great shots.

then food and movie and healthfood store for me. i showed her one of my blogs and told her about my november daily commitment. she is 12 now and i am enjoying talking with her and it seems to me a very important age in image development and awareness of self and others and it is wonderful to be present with her and i am very happy with the positive changes that i am making in my life because i know that it will have a positive impact on her life as well.  yea  : )

tomorrow we are off to disneyland for the day and then home for her 'till our next time together; much too short but more time coming up for the holidays and a lifetime of wonder and adventure for us.

: )

strange goings on in my heart and head today. spent a good day with my daughter and brother at the magic kingdom but as the evening was heading toward a close and time grew short to be with my daughter, it was obvious that the parting was coming to soon again for both of us and i realize again that we need to spend more time together that we currently are. i was a part of her every single day life for eleven years, and during the last year we have seen each other two weekends a month and a little more whenever we can and it is not enough for either of us.

i have been goal setting a lot lately and have set some goals to be self-employed and working from home by jan 1 2008.  i miss living with my daughter...it is my intention to create more time with her every weekend while i continue to pursue a lifestyle that will allow us more time together....

i have been reworking my life and becoming increasingly clear about what i want and how important it is create the life you want and to be the person that you want to be...i am no longer willing to be less and am making the committment to make it happen now with every choice, every day.

it comes down to making choices every day and committing to stay focused, choosing to smile and breathe and communicate from the heart and setting goals and following through. we do not have enough time and energy to not live out our full life potential, we have nothing else.

it requires energy to change, stay focused, commit, act, love.... the energy invested is worth your whole life and will produce miracles in return... there is no other path to freedom than this path.

it is what we want and need from each other!

: )

well, it is 12:34 in the a.m. so i am a bit tardy for this day's blog. no excuses but an opportunity to watch an interesting pattern of behavior. one of the best things about setting a daily goal is to watch the choices that you make that support or hinder that goal. having an opportunity to practice that everyday for thirty days is wonderful and worth the price of admission alone!

i am having the opportunity of late to watch the instant karma in action and i like living so close to consequenses positive and negative in terms of their outcome on happiness and health in either a more favorable or less favorable hue. the discipline is to keep going and keep paying attention and continue to make better choices. good choices lead to a more favorable environment that makes it easier to make more of them. less conscious choices also immediately impact our inner and outer environment and facilitate making more poor choices. sometimes a tough cycle to break through because while you are living in the poor results of less healthy choices you have to have enough clarity, discipline, faith, luck to start a positive seed planting habit and to nourish those little seeds in a less than ideal soil. so it is and fortune favors the brave and persistent or nature shines her mercy on us perhaps.

: )

hello out there : )

it seems that i have been playing night owl a bit lately though i am not as good as it as i am at being an early morning person it seems.

i had a fun dancing experience tonight! i wandered down to my local favorite raw food restaurant this evening after work and ended up sharing a table 'sort of' with a woman who was reading between talking on the phone outside... i scored an extra shot of wheat grass and shared a toast and for this wonderful service was invited to a local group dance experience where there was movement and music and such and i got a chance to sweat and jump up and down and around and have a good time. : )

i have a favorite ancient zen master who i have a strong affinity for. there was a time in my life when i had a translated copy of his work and a tin whistle and i counted those as my only real possessions. i have lately found another book that i am reading and am enjoying on the wonders of happy, healthy, vibrant living. the zen master spoke to me today on the choice to be fully present and to take great care in every action, great or small and not taking one as more precious or complete as any other so that your effort is pure and true. my other book reminded me of the power of good association and taking care of yourself in terms of environment, vibe, energy and making sure to feed yourself with good associations, mental, physical, social...

i paid off my car today... yea!!! first time for me from top to bottom so i gave my car a big washing and drove it proudly tonight. tomorrow, the bedroom, etc... working to create some space and order in my life. i have certainly discovered that organization happens inside first. hard to organize the things outside of your self when the inside is in disarray. the outside is just reflecting your inner state of disorder, so nothing happened on the exterior organization front until i began to clarify my need for order on the inside. the exterior is quick to get in line once the inner self is in agreement.

i'm taking a raw food chef class in San Diego on saturday afternoon so i will head down for the day and if i am having fun i will stay over somewhere and make a getaway out of it.

seems that i am writing from a very tired place the last few nights. i will have to find my daily posting rhythm and am getting lots of opportunities to watch the process and tweak the system.

thank-you : ) : )

i have been a guest at my parent's home for the last year and i decided today to live here for the moment and get into a good space financially and provide a good home for my daughter and share some time with my brother and my parents while they are here.

so after a year of living from suitcase to boxes, i have decided to actually move in and get comfortable for a little while with visions of owning property in my favorite O.C. hidden gem of a canyon within the national forest boundary.

everything is heading in the direction of having a wonderful year 2007 and i am preparing the way for a miraculous year.

i have been playing a bit lately at asking powerful questions and putting them to pen and paper and finding that the answers show themselves.

i have been practicing it for a while but recently the answers are showing up much quicker and i am trusting them more and acting on them and it is changing my life in a very positive way!

: )

i think i like it out here in the land of blogdom.

today is a new day!!! horay!!! i am ringing in the new day while bloggin to friends and family and listening to a little marley man!

rise up this morning, smiled at the rising sun...

singing sweet songs of melodies pure and true....

don't wory, bout a thing, cuz every little things gonna be alright...

i have been doing it backwards like i've been standing on my head all this time... the trick see for me is to start the day with a fresh howdy do to my compadres.... that way i have all the time that i want to devote to this present moment!

here comes the sun (do do do do do) here comes the sun..and i say... it's all right!
sun, sun, sun, here it comes....

sing and dance, love and play!!!

create a home wherever you are right now!!!!!!!!

zen in the midst...................building my home office and bedroom meditating while dancing and practicing yoga, breathing

have fun, will travel

switching gears for a round of dark side of the moon in celebration, perhaps, of the new moon cycle which is upon us on November 20th, 2006  : ) and in a bigger cycle, the winter solstice is drawing near and the true new year shall begin fresh, midnight for the year...

having fun playing music master

: )

nothing to tell now... let the words be yours i'm done with mine.

what is your purpose in life?

it is time. today is the day that it all comes together. today is the day that you have waited for your entire life. embrace it fully and dance and sing and play and breathe and stretch and give to yourself and your bodymind what it needs most from you and that is your love for yourself.

change your life today. be everything!

: )

today is my best day ever! i said the same thing two days ago and meant it that day as well.
i found myself saying at one point when i was having a good fun day with my friend jahn,
"This is the most fun i have ever had and this is the happiest i have ever been."... i decided at that time that i wanted to live in a way that i would find myself at the right place and the right time with the right everything and everyone else to find myself saying that phrase and meaning it with all of my heart.

so i have had two best days ever in the last three days!!!

: ) yea!!!

: ) thank-you all for your council

i am thankful to be alive today.  last night i went on a spirit quest and found what i needed to find and crossed over to life and when the timing is right i will tell the tale but tonight i must rest.

: )

so the other night, i sent my self into the wilderness on a self made vision quest and i had a long spell lost in the woods at night with a mountain lion stalking me and i had a real life survival experience that in the whole has had a profound life changing affect on me and i am changed but sorting through the emotions still so it has been difficult for me to say what i want to say because it was so profound and powerful that when i recover a bit emotionally and start to process and integrate the experience, i know i will have something to say.

so i am saying hello and honoring my commitment to communicate everyday and will say more when i am able.

: )

hi everyone, hope you are all well and happy and alive today  : )

breathing in... i know that i am alive!.... breathing out....i smile to my self : )

i am grateful to be alive and to live each amazing moment, breath by breath. i have been exploring fear a lot lately and learning to see it more clearly. i have not uncovered it fully but i have had moments of clarity and am learning to embrace my fear energy when it is present by breathing in.... and breathing out and learning to care for my fear in the moment with compassion and tenderness and to shine the light of mindfulness on it and watch the energy transform into something very useful.

fear is our most ancient habit energy and we have removed ourselves from our native ways of embracing and cherishing the sacredness of life and is it any wonder that we suffer and blame ourselves and each other. we have forgotten our selves.

the truth is, however, that we are children of the earth and sky, father sun, sister moon, mother earth we are abundant children full of wonder and light and magic and love and laughter and the power to change our lives and heal and grow.

choose to be happy and smile and breathe, take it fast or take it slow, if you get lost, dance and play some music and step into the sunlight and run and jump and increase your level of  activity..... and when your afraid, turn on the lights..., breathe in deeply, breathe out, get warm and smile..  : )

with love,,  : )

just a note a few days short of the next new moon. my life has changed dramatically this lunar cycle and in accordance with my new moon intentions.... at the beginning of the last lunar cycle in the new moon energy, i set some intentions and focal points for the upcoming lunar month. i sat quietly and listened with pen in hand. the main words that came out were energy, healing, and transformation. i circled healing and underlined energy and transformation then circled all three. the last thing i wrote was birth/death shoji.... shoji is the japanese word for birth/death. it is the title of one of the fasciles in 'Moon in a Dewdrop' a translation of the work of a 13th century japanese zen master named Eihei Dogen, who has been one of my deepest teachers over the last decade.

the new moon was october 21st. i went raw on october 24th. started my raw journal on the first quarter, october 29th, started the 30 day blogging marathon on november 1st, had my most profound death and life experience on the last quarter of the moon on november 12th and survived because of the physical, mental, emotional and spiritual transformations that have occured during this lunar cycle. and now we are approaching the close of this cycle and the beginning of the next one.

as this cycle comes to a close, seek out some quiet time and rest and breathe and put pen to paper with whatever words find their way to expression and return your attention to the sheet from time to time during this next lunar cycle.

it is good to slow down sometimes and get into rhythm with the changes that are a part of everyday and the seasonal changes.

Winter Solstice is approaching, which is the new moon energy for the year and a good time to seek some solitude and set some intentions for the upcoming year.

thank-you everyone for your selves.

: )

Today is the best day ever! i have decided it so. and i am thankful for the big feelings.... the scary feelings.... the elated and joyous feelings... because they are us and they help us to understand ourselves and each other and allows us to be compassionate with ourselves and others.

 we are so strong and sometimes so vulnerable and it is true for all of us. the hard emotions are sobering and help us to tell the truth and ask for help. it is difficult for me to be vulnerable sometimes and so i tend to head for the safety of the cave or womb when i feel sad and scared and lonely. i think it is a balance and there is a time for nursing our wounds and a time for surrounding ourselves with good association in the form of friends, family, enlightening information, etc... and we have to find that place each and every time, however, with practice, we become more confident in our ability to survive it and hopefully learn not to binge fix it with things, people, food, etc... that does not help us to heal.

i seek solice in my breathing when i hurt the most... when i am feeling the most lonely, sad, dejected, vulnerable or scared and it has never failed me. sometimes i am not able to practice well because of the energy of my emotions but it is always there to comfort me and as i slow down and breathe in and out, the difficult energies also calm down and ease a little and slowly change into a more grounded loving healing sort of feeling energy that is more productive and leads to insights that our life serving.

i figure... the best way to learn to heal each other is to learn how to heal ourselves. we need our own healing attention and care the most and then... when we offer to help our friends, family and world, we have something to say that they can hear.

we all need each other and we can offer encouragement and support as we learn to heal ourselves. healing our own body-mind-spirit should be our lifes great work! it is why we are here and it is what we need most for ourselves and each other.

so.... cheers and hooray for each and every one of us... may we breathe and understand our hearts, bodies and minds and act immediately to heal ourselves and share in the abundance of the kind of life that we all want.

: )

so, i have been away from the daily blog now for several days. as it turns out, some of the cuts from my wilderness spirit quest adventure, became very infected several days ago. in addition to my lower leg swelling up to the point of making walking very difficult, i broke out in hives all over my body. so i missed celebrating thanksgiving with my family and a much looked forward to another special thanks giving gathering two days later because i decided that i would heal, by the grace of god or my personal power or something... as it was, everyone in my family, my parents, sister, daughter, friend of the family were all pushing me in the direction of emergency room/hospital route.

i did not want to participate in the lots of antibiotics to fix the problem and subject myself to the scary stuff that gets picked up in medical places and again..., i was assured that my great spiritual power would heal me in due course.

i sought out wisdom, magic, something in the universe to tell me what to do as i too was afraid of the spreading infection that seemed to be getting worse.

so, after enough signs, thinking, perceiving, et cetera, i went to the emergency room last night and i get to injest antibiotics and other meds for the next week and a half or so.

this evening, i decided to watch some west wing episodes that i had bought on dvd at a tower records closing sale and at about 11pm or so, i got a news flash from a poignant episode where the president had the opportunity to pardon someone who had been sentenced to death.

as it turns out, so many advisors had come to the president from so many different perspectives encouraging him to pardon the man on principle against capital punishment.

his priest, in the story reminded him of a tale that i had heard many times before, first time, being, from a zen book called everyday zen by charlotte joko beck.

i will convey the jist of tale, most have already heard but i heard it again tonight and it was about me this time.

a devout man lived by a great river and one day he heard a radio report saying that the river next to his home was about to flood and the people in the village would all need to evacuate. as the river overflowed and started filling the streets a man in a rowboat passed the flooding home of the devout man and he shouted that he would row the man to safety. the devout man said "I pray to God and God loves me. he will save me."

somtime later, the man was standing on the roof of his house and a helicopter circled over him offering him a rope ladder to bring him to safety. the man, again, replied that he would be saved by god.

of course the man drowned. as he entered the heavenly gates, he addresed god and said i was devout my whole life and prayed incessantly. why did you not come to my rescue?

and god said, "i gave you a radio warning, a rowboat and a helicopter. why did you choose not to hear me?"

so that is the first time that i recognized myself as the devout man on the house because i did same thing this week but did not recognize until hearing this story again tonight.

god sent me my whole family to tell me that i needed to get my self healed of the massively spreading infection in my leg and i held out to hear it from god, him-her self.

i have not officially taken the time to draft my new moon intentions but the word that keeps coming up for me is balance!...... i am learning more and more about balance..

thank-you

: )

today is the best day ever because i choose it to be so by speaking it true. each day can be miraculous if we decide that it is and choose to be open to the wonderful miracles that appear in so many ways throughout the day. open to the wonder of each and every moment and the abundant flow of everyone and everything.

the fruit of practice is enjoyed in every moment of practice. letting go, being now, smiling, laughing, dancing, playing, talking, walking, listening, healing, learning, growing, changing.

look around with new eyes and ears and heart and body and mind and smile at the people that you see and say hello and transfer your love and energy to everyone and everything that you encounter and be open to receiving the love and energy of everyone and everything that encounters you.

each and everyone of us needs each and everyone of us so let us be who we most need each other to be for ourselves.

let us all invest in each others health and wealth and joy and love and happiness and peace and prosperity and embrace our suffering and heal our hearts and minds and bodies and beliefs and habits and fears. let us work and play and love and learn together.